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REVELATIONS Part 5.5

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Revelations Chapter 5.5*

Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee, and all characters in the -Man Universe do not belong to me. I am merely borrowing them for a while to suit my purpose. If it wasn't clear before, I will reiterate that this is an Allen Walker X Lenalee Lee story. Nothing super lemony….just some overdue conversations.

*This story takes place a little bit after the anime ends and way before the whole Kanda-centric storyline that's currently going on in the manga (not that I don't like Kanda…I heart him…but he's just not the focus of this particular story). So, this starts a couple of months after the Level 4 is defeated at HQ and General Cross is able to speak with Allen for a moment wherein he lets him know that Allen is the vessel from which the 14th will be reborn. Furthermore, that Allen will eventually be taken over by the 14th and, once that happens, he will kill someone he loves.

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En route via Coach to Black Order – Asian Branch

Allen sighed, sitting with his arms crossed and eyes closed, slowly being lulled to sleep by the motion of the enclosed carriage. The steady clopping sound of the horse hooves relaxed him as they seemed the very metronome of travel. Unfortunately he could almost feel the electric waves of tension sparking between the other two people in the carriage with him.

"Explain to me why you're here again, Lavi?" asked Inspector Link with a twinge of annoyance at the edge of each word.

"I don't need to have a reason to accompany any Exorcist. I am merely here to witness and record the history of the Black Order," replied Lavi, in an even tone.

"Seeing how this field trip is of a personal nature on behalf of Supervisor Komui, I don't see how it has anything to do with what the Bookmen would care to record."

"Well, since it is a trip of a personal nature, as you've said, I could ask why the Pope would have any interest in having his lackey follow someone who was merely sent to go pick someone else up."

"You two are like a couple of bickering harpies," interjected Allen.

"You stay out of this!" cried both Lavi and Link simultaneously at Allen.

As they continued to shoot sparks at each other silently, Allen closed his eyes and thought about what he was going to say to Lenalee when he finally saw her. It had been over 5 months since their last meeting. It was innocuous enough, their last few days of contact; they were helping each other relocate to the new headquarters. There were some mishaps along the way what with some of the Science Department's past experiments emerging from their deep and forgotten places and actually affecting those who came in contact with them. But in the end, it was light and fun, with no worries of akuma or the Earl since he was dealt such a debilitating blow. Not that the Exorcists and the staff didn't suffer their share of losses either. But when everyone's injuries were healed and peace was bidden to the dead, moving boxes and equipment seemed like such a mundane task. Those were halcyon days and Allen soaked them up as much as he could. He had spent many hours in the dining hall with everyone, chatting, joking, laughing, reminiscing, and sometimes debating the future of Innocence in relation to their hosts as seen with his and Lenalee's synchronization.

Being surrounded by his friends was a balm to his spirit but it was always Lenalee's smile, her reassuring touch on his shoulder or hand, how she protected him and also kept him accountable that truly engaged him in the healing process. The new headquarters was foreign and cold at first but with every smile she gave him, every shared glance, every note of her lilting laughter, he knew it didn't matter where he was; if Lenalee was there, it would feel like home. But then that night when he was suddenly taken into custody and escorted into a room to meet with his Master, everything changed. The last thing he remembered of his old life was looking over his shoulder to reassure everyone that things would be okay, only to see Lenalee looking after him with such panicked concern that she had to be restrained from following after him. He had hoped that he wouldn't have to see that kind of expression on Lenalee's lovely face for a while longer…he had hoped that he wouldn't be the one to ever cause it.

Allen's thoughts went to when he had finally returned to them from the Asian Branch, just in time to keep the Earl from absconding with Lenalee. He hadn't noticed that Lenalee's hair was so short or that her legs were wrapped up. He was, in that moment, only concerned about her survival. But, when they were finally able to take some respite under the bridge to plan their next step, Allen asked Lavi what he had meant when he said not to worry about Lenalee's loss of consciousness because "it had happened before." In those few spare moments Lavi conveyed the events following their discovery of Timcanpy and how they were led to the area where Allen had last been seen and recorded.

Lavi had a hard time retelling that story himself without re-living it but what was more difficult to hear was of Lenalee's reaction to the traces of blood on the forest floor and his disappearance. With his mind, Lavi recorded every moment with a Bookman's efficiency and detail, as if Timcanpy himself had recorded it visually. Lenalee had blamed herself for Allen's fate and, as a result, flung herself into battle, fighting with the fierce determination that might lead her to be forgiven for her part in Allen's death, somehow. Lavi was beside himself as to how to help her out of her self-seclusion. As she plunged into the depths to fight the level 3, Lavi said that the last thing he had seen was the look of resignation in Lenalee's eyes as she seemed to be accepting whatever fate awaited her. When she had miraculously returned to them, all of her extremities had been scorched by the intensity of her own attack and her Innocence no longer synchronous to her. To save her friends, to save her world, she had thrown herself away.

He understood her fully. Just as she had said back in the ark while Lavi went to make sure Rhode's door was still there; she would do everything in her power to save her friends as well if she were in Allen's place. She understood him fully then as well. But how would she react now if she were to know what lay in store for him?

Would she react by throwing herself into trying to help him? What if that resulted in her being hurt or even killed? The thought made Allen's chest constrict. His master's words again echoed in his mind…

His immediate answer back then was to stop caring. Pull away and stop caring. Then it wouldn't need to happen. It was an immature, knee-jerk response; a tidy theory to solve a morbid prophecy.

Were he to be fully overtaken by the 14th, what would happen to his memory of her? Would she be ripped away from him as if she never existed? In pulling away from her by his own choice, he was selfishly trying to minimize that pain by preparing for the worst.

Selfish. That's what Lenalee had called him that day as they were about to board the train in search of his master. She reminded him that risking his life unnecessarily was actually being thoughtless of those who cared for him because they would be left to grieve him and forever mourn his loss. Not only that, he was excluding her by taking the burden on himself. Hearing Lavi's account of Lenalee's actions with the level 3 out in the open ocean, wasn't she guilty of doing the very same thing? They must both be selfish, he surmised.

But he had been sincerely remorseful for hurting her then. He would never forget the expression on her face when he shouted at her for stopping him. It was a mix of indignation and heartbreak, her eyes brimming with tears. He had robbed her of a choice when he decided to take matters in his own hands and thereby excluded her. History was repeating itself. He executed his plan of pulling away without telling her why. She deserved to know what was happening and maybe she might actually agree with his course of action. He decided he would be honest with her for as long as he was Allen Walker. And he intended to remain Allen Walker until the day he couldn't move forward anymore.

"Are we there yet? We've been heading north for almost the entire day now," lamented Lavi, looking out of the window at the vast open expanse of dead grassland as far as the eye could see.

"We're approaching the Gate now," replied Link.

"Huh?"

"The Northern Sector of the Asian Branch is entirely underground. How could you not know that, being such a knowledgeable Bookman?" prodded Link.

"Don't start with me, Two-dots. The first and only time I've been here, I didn't really come in through the front door, you know? Oi, Allen," said Lavi, elbowing him in the ribs, "wake up, we're here."

As they rode on, the ground beneath them began to sink into a descending spiral, which then began to rise back up to ground level behind them in smaller sections. Finally, several hundred feet below ground, their path leveled out and the carriage stopped.

The anticipation of seeing Lenalee was mixed with a quiet dread. His heart beat faster and faster as he swung open the door.

To Be Continued
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*Note – I thought this chapter would be when Lenalee and Allen finally met up but when I started writing it, this is what came out so I just went with it. Seemed Allen had some thoughts that needed to be expressed before seeing her, lol. Anyway, sorry for the psyche-out. I labeled it Chapter 5.5 since it's a bit shorter than usual and is somewhat of a lead-in to Chapter 6 Will try to post the next chapter within a few days. Thanks again for reading and commenting!
Lenalee goes off to train harder as she had promised herself but Allen has started to disengage himself from those he cares about after finding out that he would be overtaken by the 14th. Can they reconcile their unspoken feelings during this trial?
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